In honor of the first day of summer, everyone should go out and buy a new bikini, but please, pretty pretty please, follow these guidelines.
The 10 commandments of a great Bikini
1. It shall stay on in the water.
2. It shall have a flattering, booty-enhancing cut on the bottom that covers just enough, but not too much. Leave the diapers for the infants & toddlers.
3. It shall be made of soft, durable fabric that looks good with your skin tone.
4. It shall not turn translucent when wet.
5. You shall be able to run and jump without anything falling out.
6. You shall not get any funky tan lines.
7. It shall hold up your tata’s.
8. It shall not have as much hardware on it as a Home Depot.
9. It shall not have any rhinestones on it, or black ruffles like this
10. You shall never, ever wear a suit like this.
Cheers to Summer!
Photo by: Nino Munoz
“I’ve come here to eat all of your candy and kick ass…and you’re all out of candy.”
“It’s my birthday! Bring me my army of baby giraffes now!”
“Come at me, bro.”
